.bad.day. :'(

alam muh .. kung di ka na mhal, wag mo n ipilit ..
ikw lng ang magmumukhang tanga ee ..
i have every right to talk to him..
he's ur bf, not ur property ..
you always put malice in everything we do ..
is the problem in me ?!
no!
its in YOU..
i didn't flirt with him .. he approached me ..
we're just friends .. u wont bliv me
fine ..

x.x.x.x.x.x

ikw nmn ! ano b ginawa ko sau !?
ano b problema mu ?!
kung glit ka s kin, sbhin muh ..
hndi ung tinitira muh kong patalikod ..
tinuring kitang kaibigan tpos, gnun pla ..
fine !
kung ayw muh d kita pipilitin ..
d ka kawalan ..
oo nga ..
tama ako ..
wla ka nga pinagkaiba s knya ..

x.x.x.x.x.x

at ikw nmn !?
bqet ang tanga muh !?
bqet kahit n ginagago k na ng buong mundo,
tao p rin ang turing muh mo s mga
taong HAYOP ang trato sau !?
bqet pilit mung niilulunok lhat ng insulto at pananakit n ibinabato nila sau ?
takot k matalo nuh ?!
khit nmn d k lumaban,
ikw pa rin ang talo

x.x.x.x.x.x

where are my so-called friends wen i need them most ?!
where are the people hu promised to catch me
wen i fall ??
where are te ones who said they'll be there to wipe away these tears dat fall ??
is everything just a LIE ?!

x.x.x.x.x.x

pro khit anu gwin ko ..
d ko p rin pla kaya magalit ..
ngaun p lng, gusto ko n mag sorry ..
gusto ko n maging friends kmi ulit ..
ngaun p lng ako n ng ppkumbaba ..
bqet !?
kxe auko ng away ?!
kxe gnun ko sila kamahal ??
khit ako nde nila mhal ..

~yhanyhan~

.empty.empty.empty.

can you explain

this emptiness i feel ?

this sick hollow feeling ?

can you tell me i'm fine

and honestly mean it ?

can y0u tell me what's wr0ng ?

w0uld y0u even care ?

what d hell is g0ing on with me ?!

i feel s0 lost :'(

s0 c0nfused ..

s0 distant ..

s0, v0id of everything ..

---

hiya ! new p0st ..
t0day was fun.fun.fun.
culminating activity at sch0oL ..
n0 pressure
n0 classes
n0 stupid physics
n0 bi0, chem, algeb, plane ge0 ..
n0 NOTHING ..
just F-U-N

but s0meh0w, i cant feel the joy ..
s0mehow i feel empty
c0nfused ..
lost
v0id of everything

why ?
is it bc0z of y0u ?!
is it bc0z of him ?
is it bc0z of her ?
why ?
why am i feeling like this ?

i sh0uLd be inspired c0z of him
i sh0uld be happy bc0z of him
i should be at peace bc0z of you

but i was totally pissed
c0z of her
damn her to hell ..

~RiA 22~

ps. just wanna share , i f0und my weakness



music

awts.awts.awts.

n0 classes?

would go to sch0oL or not ?

happy

would i cry later ?

c0nfused

when would my mind clear?

hurting

would i still hope for your love ?

depressed

will i still survive ?

i hate this life

---

thats it for my post ..

~RiA 22~

sorry

sorry gerbene !! :'(

~* RiA 22 *~

the.st0rm.is.raging.but.the.rain.is.absent.

hate you

i hate you

your stupid

unfair

childish

unfair

selfish

foolish

great but no

coz you see, not every0ne is as great as y0u

your nothing

n0thing but a ..

Perfectionist

---

superman ..
blessed with superhuman strength
speed of light
endless stamina
supersonic hearing
x-ray vision
the ability to fly..

if he was already this IDEAL to become
everyone's hero
how come he was only described
"IDEAL"
and not PERFECT?
why does he have to be vulnerable in the presence of
Kryptonite?
why cant we be like superman?
able to accept that despite being s0 GREAT
y0u can NEVER be PERFECT
if superman can be weak,
then why cant i ?
cant i be me?
being perfectly happy behind my imperfections ?

---

from now on,
you wouldn't see this smiling face
not this cheery eyes
you wouldnt hear this soulful and carefree laughter
instead,
when you look at me
you'll see nothing but HATRED
as cold as the winter night
hard as diamond, made harder by fire
and this girl
that had been so pure and free
will be void of everything positive
and will then be just an
empty shell,
souless and unmoving,
alive,
yet DEAD inside...

Ramiel

you're now the last ace in my deck
the frailest sliver of light left
now, you are my only hope for
"SALVATION"
your love will "save" me
and revive the heat in my
stone-cold heart
my "return" is in your hands ..

~* RiA _ 22 *~

fallen .. =(

i love you

i love you a lot

i love you so much

just stay close

i'm sorry

i'm unworthy :'(

please d0nt love me

but d0nt hate me as well

i'm guiLty

i'm sorry :'(

i hate .. my self

just please stay

i'm here

d0nt look at me

n0thing's changed

just me

cOnfused

hurt

lost

i d0nt kn0w what to do ..

---

so basically, i'm super confused
i'm n0t sure as to what i should do
what i sh0uLd feeL
what i sh0uLd say, h0w i sh0uLd act
nothing ..
mere confusion
a swirl of thousand shades of gray and black
n0t a trace of light ..
pure darkness
n0thing ..

VOiD

~* RiA _ 22 *~

the.real.me.y0u.cant.see. =]

d0 y0u kn0w the real me?
i guess n0t,
h0w c0uLd y0u, if y0u wouLdn't try t0 kn0w me deeper, better ?
:]

one thing i've learned in life,
when you want to be accepted always,
y0u can NEVER be y0u ..
never be yourself ..

and also, when y0u change y0urself f0r other pe0pLe,
y0u w0uLd c0ntinue changing ..
thinking that y0u are finaLLy GAiNiNG ..
whe in fact y0u are LOSiNG ..
Losing wh0 y0u really are ..

Change is s0 addictive .. :]
because y0u think y0u aLready "beLong"
but n0, it's n0t yet over ..
pe0pLe wiLL c0ntinue on Lo0king f0r s0mething wr0ng in y0u ..
y0u can never please the deviL ..
because the deviL's onLy pLeasure is y0ur demise ..

never change f0r others,
bc0z they w0nt appreciate that change ..
they wiLL carry on,
c0ntinuing t0 hate y0u ..
they w0uLdn't be satisfied tiLL y0u break d0wn ..
and you?
wiLL just be tired 0f thinking what eLse there is t0 change in y0u ..
and y0u wiLL be disc0uraged and think that
whatever y0u d0,
n0body wiLL love y0u ..

y0u wouLd just lose to them ..
and aLso, y0u wiLL lose y0urself ..

i kn0w this,
bc0z i've been thr0ugh this ..
trying to belong .. :]

the best way that y0u can d0 is LEARN
to ACCEPT wh0 y0u are ..
and t0 LOVE yourself ..

just cr0ssed my mind ..

~* RiA _ 22 *~

my spexaL pers0ns

First Saga:


iLovey0u .. :]
ur the onLii pers0n hu can make me Laugh, when i refuse t0 smiLe ..
m0st especially, y0u kn0w h0w t0 handle my fragile heart ..
y0u d0nt hurt me in any way y0u c0uLd prevent ..
and i kn0w y0u w0uLdn't ..
y0u enc0urage me naturaLLy and make me happy ..
y0u just d0nt kn0w h0w speciaL y0u make me feeL everytime ..
and i d0nt Love y0u bc0z of these things ..
iL0vey0u .. bc0z ur y0u ..

:]

thank y0u f0r n0t rejecting me ..


Second Saga:


~* Jasmine Eve *~

d0nt be a pessimist bhe ..
Love is natural ..
jealousy is normal ..
pain is also natural ..
ur n0t a loser, n0t stupid ..
in fact, ur d winner .. f0r n0t losing ur temper,
f0r being light and carefree despite all ur pains ..
f0r loving th0ugh ur hurting ..
ur a 0ne in a million kind of person ..

i am guilty of pretending,
of being a pessimist,
of being the greatest actress in this w0rLd ..
but i kn0w der r tyms n kelangan ko i-pull ung sarili ko ..
f0r my sake,
and f0r the other pe0ple wh0 love and care f0r me ..

bilib ako sau ..
u can handle urself with such precisi0n ..
:D
keep up the smile y0u always have ..

:]



Third Saga:



~* My Dark AngeL *~

and she was my shield,
my barrier and protecti0n .
the only person to who i can break d0wn,
cry & be me, yet,
still be strong.

and she is a bestfriend,
a lover, and a sister,
the other half of my peace...
the strebgth of my very s0uL ..

but s0meh0w everything changed,
like death that t0ok away y0ur j0y,
in a blink of an eye,
everything was lost ..

i d0nt kn0w wat i did,
n0r wat i sh0uLd d0.
i'm s0rry my friend,
if ever i hurt y0u ..

i just want y0u to kn0w,
i'll always be here,
i w0uld wait f0r y0u,
i swear i will, Aubrey ..

--henrianne dela cruz

an elegy [?] i made :)
just tripping .. :)
she used to be my bestfriend ..
but n0w,
i d0nt think s0 :]



Fourth Saga:



the peri0dical tests are officially over,
marking the end of the first quarter ..
aww ..
the sch0ol is nearing the first half ..

auk0 p matapos t0ng sch0oL year n t0h ..
mhaL ko mga cm8s k0 ..
LaLo n si an0 .. :]
si Jasmine, ung anak k0 :)
ahaha ..

aun ..

dis is where i end my blog ..


"wh0 am i t0 say such things, when i myself cant d0 it .."


~* RiA _ 22 *~

Human Nature ..

- Henrianne J. Dela Cruz

"Napaka-plastic mo naman!" is a phrase or sentence that often fly around these days.
Let's face it, its true! People are becoming worse by the minute.
Plasticity, what is it?
It is when you show you're friends fake kindness ..
As though nothing's wrong.
Nothing to worry or talk about .
As though everything's alright.
You are trying to hide the truth abouth someone when you are being plastic.
The truth he/she has every right to know.
Everyone had been "plastic" more than twice in their lives ..
in fact, this plasticity is a human nature ..
it has been latched to the very soul of every human being ..
hidden, unseen to the world ..

Like crab mentality ..
it's everywhere..
in school, at home, in the community ..
everywhere you look at
its there, in our hearts ..
silent and unmoving ..
but acting ..
according to what was laid for it ..
nagsimula un when we were young ..
yung simpleng asaran ..
ung panunuksong "mataba" "panget" "payat" etc.
its d most innocent and simple nature of crab mentality .
unknown to us,
it is always der ..
tinutukso ntin ang ibang tao to make ourselves elated ..
to prove that we are greater, worthier ..
just masked by our innocence ..
but it's der ..
EVERYWHERE

second human nature is FAVORiTiSM ..
this stupidity is rotting deep within us ..
in our inner self
not just in our very soul ..
but its part of our soul as well ..
circulating our life veins ..
running through our very blood ..
lahat tau may favoritism ..
ung iba, d lng pinapakita ..
di pinapahalata ..
kxe, dey are matured enough to accept the fact that nobody wants people with favoritism .. :)

another inexplainable thing in humans is FAKE HUMiLiTY (did i use d right term)
FAKE HUMBLENESS ..
we are all elated when we hear praise, we know dat ..
so why deny ??
bqet kelangan p sabihin n "d nuh!" or "weh!?"
its d people's view of you ..
fake humbleness sometimes results to low self-esteem ..
and sometimes, it can be pretty disgusting ..
"ikaw lng ang pupuri sa sarili mo"
y0u are the best-est friend you can have for urself.
and .. if the whole world is against you, the strongest person present to defend you is urself ..
so, kung mababa self-esteem muh ..
inalis muh n ung shield muh
ung sandalan muh
pinatay muh n ung best-est friend muh ..

another prominent human nature is
the will to change constantly ..
not for yourself,
but to please everybody ..
nobody will be satisfied with every change you do ..
dey will never be satisfied till you die ..
ang makikita lng ng tao sau is ung bad side muh ..
dey wouldn't appreciate wat you are doing for them ..
so don't bother ..
change is constant ..
bcoz people like to please everyone constantly ..
change for yourself ..
love yourself ..
and think first ..
"am i gonna change for myself?"
or "am i gonna change so that they would like me more?"

there are a lot of things in this world ..
a few of which i understand fully ..
some of which are still unclear ..
and a LOT of which i neither understand nor do i want to ever understand ..
our world is beautiful as it is ..
with it's mystery hanging around ..

i myself am guilty of this article ..
i admit, i'm a pessisimist ..
in a way that when i look at a thing, the first i saw is its inner content on the negative side ..
i always fail to notice the beauty of something ..
but once i noticed it, i use it to try and adapt to the thing's negative nature ..

yin and yang, the balance of nature ..
good and evil ..
but if you would look closely,
darkness has overwhelmed it secretly ..
why ??
what's the color of the outline of the circle ?
BLACK which symbolizes DARKNESS
it is a great facade ..
an unnoticed one ..
masked ..
bcoz people look only at what's inside the barrier ..
they forget ..
that to be able to see the inside,
you'll have to penetrate the barrier first ..

i d0nt say i kn0w the w0rld m0re than anyone d0es ..
i just say what i want t0 say ..
it's my right ..
isn't it ?

~RiA~

Busy

she vaLues her m0ney m0re than Life of aLL the pe0pLe existing ar0und her ..
she is being taken away by the pressure of debts ..
her souL is eaten by the gLory and p0wer of m0ney .,
aLL that matters n0w to her is FAME .. the greatest deviL of aLL times ..

and meanwhiLe ..

i Love him ..
he d0esnt ..
aLmost perfect ..
if onLy he c0uLd Love someone Like me ..
but i'm n0t his type of girL ..
onLy friends ..
thats wat we can be ..
ONLii FRiENDS !! ='(

i kn0w wh0m he Loves ..
but he d0esnt kn0w i Love him ..
i kn0w it kinda hurts ..
n0, it HURTS ..
a LOT ..

and yeah .. everyday i see him ..
and i love him more each day ..
and though it hurts, i know i would continue this craziness ..
bc0z somehow, i cant, and i dont want to stop it ..

as if my heart is willing to be hurt bc0z of him ..
and i know i wouldn't mind ..
not the jealousy,
not the pain,
not the tears ..
nothing ..

i care for him x0o much .. ='(
and he sh0ws the same kind of care .. on a different level ..
but i kn0w were JUST FRiENDS ..
i kn0w dat ..
it's our Limit ..

but if ever by s0me chance, he d0 fall f0r me ..
den i w0uLd certainLy be happy ..
bc0z i Love him t0o ..

and the last ..

sleepless weeks ..
restless nights ..
t0o busy ..
waaaaaaay t0o busy !!!
t0o many quizzes, pr0jects, requirements t0 pass ..
t0 many chapter tests ..
g0od thing i'm inspired ..
i w0n't be p0sting as vaLcrie any Longer ..
i'm tired ..
i d0nt want t0 be his lover anymore :D

~RiA~