i stood there
in the middle of an empty street
staring blankly
the moon was full
the rain started to fall
soaking me straight to the bone
sending chills up my spine
i stand in this empty space
time seemed to freeze
leaving me there
more alone
more dead
i found myself looking
through all the times you fought
all the times you were shouting
and i was like a child
hiding on spaces
trying not to see
nor hear a thing
trying to avoid destruction
but failing to flee
all the days of my broken youth lay there
before my eyes
haunting me
trying to eat my soul
killing me
you looked at me
with eyes that seem to burn holes through me
as if you wanted to eat me
to kill me
i looked back at you
with no fear
no anger
no hatred
nothing but pure innocence and love
i looked at you with sadness
and longing
and pain
even wishing that you would approach me
not minding if you would hurt me
just so i could touch you again
hug you
be with you ..
and what lay before my eyes was a monster
who destroyed my faith
my innocence
who disregarded the respect
the love i gave
and we fought several times
and you never listened
you were so selfish !
so close-minded
you didn't even think about what i would feel
all the words you said
they left a deep scar in my life
all the insults you threw
they all remained intact in my brain
haunting me
even in my peace
all the things you did to me
both happy and not
i cherished them all
i respected you
because you know what?
even though your not the greatest father in the world,
you are the ONLY father i could ever have
and i wouldn't wish for another
no matter what pain you keep on causing to me
i couldn't love you less
i couldn't disrespect you
bcoz your still my father
and i die a little bit everytime you say things to me
and yet, i still respect you
you don't even know
nor appreciate it
and i couldn't just show it anymore
bcoz whenever i look at you now
what i see is the monster
who haunted my childhood
not the father i loved
i'm giving up
RiA
in the middle of an empty street
staring blankly
the moon was full
the rain started to fall
soaking me straight to the bone
sending chills up my spine
i stand in this empty space
time seemed to freeze
leaving me there
more alone
more dead
i found myself looking
through all the times you fought
all the times you were shouting
and i was like a child
hiding on spaces
trying not to see
nor hear a thing
trying to avoid destruction
but failing to flee
all the days of my broken youth lay there
before my eyes
haunting me
trying to eat my soul
killing me
you looked at me
with eyes that seem to burn holes through me
as if you wanted to eat me
to kill me
i looked back at you
with no fear
no anger
no hatred
nothing but pure innocence and love
i looked at you with sadness
and longing
and pain
even wishing that you would approach me
not minding if you would hurt me
just so i could touch you again
hug you
be with you ..
and what lay before my eyes was a monster
who destroyed my faith
my innocence
who disregarded the respect
the love i gave
and we fought several times
and you never listened
you were so selfish !
so close-minded
you didn't even think about what i would feel
all the words you said
they left a deep scar in my life
all the insults you threw
they all remained intact in my brain
haunting me
even in my peace
all the things you did to me
both happy and not
i cherished them all
i respected you
because you know what?
even though your not the greatest father in the world,
you are the ONLY father i could ever have
and i wouldn't wish for another
no matter what pain you keep on causing to me
i couldn't love you less
i couldn't disrespect you
bcoz your still my father
and i die a little bit everytime you say things to me
and yet, i still respect you
you don't even know
nor appreciate it
and i couldn't just show it anymore
bcoz whenever i look at you now
what i see is the monster
who haunted my childhood
not the father i loved
i'm giving up
RiA
