lookin in the mirror, and all i see is a facade
a girl whom i never knew
a stranger looks back at me ..
it has been quite some time since i've last looked at myself
and a lot have changed
my eyes are tired from all the nights of crying
my body frame had been thinner
from all the days of having no energy
nor will to eat
my lips are white and chapped
my hands bony and pale
my hair hanging limp and my life seemed to be sapped out of me
souless, lifeless
i've become like a phantom
i look at things as if i can see through them ..
nothing mattered anymore
my vision is blurring
my world seemed to spin right in front of me
my ears are becoming deaf
"where am i?"
i heard my mind say ..
i knew i never said those words aloud
i've no life nor energy left to even speak
let alone scream
"why am i here?"
everything passed in and out before me
like the playful sparkle of christmas lights
except, this image is more dull
more weak
EMPTY
"i don't like this feeling"
i closed my eyes
everything i see is the darkness that was brought by my eyelids
but then,
i can see something
so vivid
so true
in my emptiness
in this darkness that i can nver share with anyone
he was there
the one who caused my pain
he was there
in my most lonely moment
where no one knows what is happening
he was there
staring at me
smiling
"i.. this is crazy"
yes it is ..
he had caused me this pain
the reason that i'm in this kind of empty darkness
yet,
and yet ..
he's all that i see now
"i love you.. return to me"
i heard him say ..
is that real?
should i believe ?
or will i be a fool again if i did?
"take my hand .. you can still survive"
there it was ..
outstretched
inviting
so warm
i was reaching out for it
inch by inch
almost there
i hesitated for a moment then grabbed his hand
"stay with me.. i love you"
i felt my eyes start to hurt ..
i never noticed the tears that are falling
non-stop
he was smiling at me..
then he pulled me to a tight embrace
"you'll be safe in my arms"
i can feel myself coming back to my senses
i can hear the sirens
shouts
moaning
i heard someone gently calling my name
i tried to open my eyes
but all i saw was a blurred image
of a man whose face i know too well
even in my darkness
that was the face i saw
i heard him speak my name
felt him touch me
"please, hold on .. stay there"
my heart broke at the sadness and worry in his voice
i wanna scream that i'm just here
that i'm alive
and that i won't leave him
i wanna tell him i love him
"please .. dont give up on me ..
he whispered to my ear
i cant see him
but i can almost hear the tears that start to roll down his cheek
i can feel him shake with sobs
"i love you"
that was it ..
the last thing i heard
my senses seemed to start to shut down
i'm gonna leave without being able to say that i love him too
without saying goodbye ..
a girl whom i never knew
a stranger looks back at me ..
it has been quite some time since i've last looked at myself
and a lot have changed
my eyes are tired from all the nights of crying
my body frame had been thinner
from all the days of having no energy
nor will to eat
my lips are white and chapped
my hands bony and pale
my hair hanging limp and my life seemed to be sapped out of me
souless, lifeless
i've become like a phantom
i look at things as if i can see through them ..
nothing mattered anymore
my vision is blurring
my world seemed to spin right in front of me
my ears are becoming deaf
"where am i?"
i heard my mind say ..
i knew i never said those words aloud
i've no life nor energy left to even speak
let alone scream
"why am i here?"
everything passed in and out before me
like the playful sparkle of christmas lights
except, this image is more dull
more weak
EMPTY
"i don't like this feeling"
i closed my eyes
everything i see is the darkness that was brought by my eyelids
but then,
i can see something
so vivid
so true
in my emptiness
in this darkness that i can nver share with anyone
he was there
the one who caused my pain
he was there
in my most lonely moment
where no one knows what is happening
he was there
staring at me
smiling
"i.. this is crazy"
yes it is ..
he had caused me this pain
the reason that i'm in this kind of empty darkness
yet,
and yet ..
he's all that i see now
"i love you.. return to me"
i heard him say ..
is that real?
should i believe ?
or will i be a fool again if i did?
"take my hand .. you can still survive"
there it was ..
outstretched
inviting
so warm
i was reaching out for it
inch by inch
almost there
i hesitated for a moment then grabbed his hand
"stay with me.. i love you"
i felt my eyes start to hurt ..
i never noticed the tears that are falling
non-stop
he was smiling at me..
then he pulled me to a tight embrace
"you'll be safe in my arms"
i can feel myself coming back to my senses
i can hear the sirens
shouts
moaning
i heard someone gently calling my name
i tried to open my eyes
but all i saw was a blurred image
of a man whose face i know too well
even in my darkness
that was the face i saw
i heard him speak my name
felt him touch me
"please, hold on .. stay there"
my heart broke at the sadness and worry in his voice
i wanna scream that i'm just here
that i'm alive
and that i won't leave him
i wanna tell him i love him
"please .. dont give up on me ..
he whispered to my ear
i cant see him
but i can almost hear the tears that start to roll down his cheek
i can feel him shake with sobs
"i love you"
that was it ..
the last thing i heard
my senses seemed to start to shut down
i'm gonna leave without being able to say that i love him too
without saying goodbye ..
RiA :))
